Starfox Vs The Internet
by Divine Porcupine
Summary: I snagged this gem over at Gamefaqs to preserve before the clean up crew come by to erase it from the interwebs forever, I have full permission to post this story and the author would like to remain anonymous. Anyways, enjoy the story!
1. Post 1

It was another boring day aboard the Great Fox for the famous mercenary team. Fox, Falco, Peppy, Slippy, and Krystal went about their normal business as always until a job came up. Granted, in galactic peace, those came fairly rarely, so most of the time Star Fox just, well, floated there like a spacebound household.

"Agh! Slippy!" bellowed a young vulpine in his mid to late twenties. He and three wingmates were playing Super Smash Bros Melee while Peppy sat back with a newspaper.

"How do you like them apples?" taunted the toad as he jumped his character, Link, around the stage. Fox and Falco, playing as themselves, KO'd the frog shortly after, only to be smashed seconds later by Mario, who was controlled by Krystal. The battle went on for a while longer, until finally the game was up and cut to Falco doing his victory dance.

"Ha, you guys can't touch me." gloated the bird as he stretched his arms out. Slippy scowled.

"Rematch!" cried the annoyed Toad. Falco almost always won, but there was always that chance he'd slip up. Everyone agreed to start the next game, when Peppy threw down his paper.

"Guys! Guys!" shouted the elderly Hare as if he were a child again. "There's been a recent breakthrough in technology over in Corneria!"

"Huh?" said a confused Fox, not taking his eyes from the screen. Slippy, however, paused the game and whirled around.

"What? What happened?" eagerly asked Slippy, his wide eyes gazing into Peppy's.

"They said that their newest receiver prototype is picking up signals from somewhere far out of the Lylat System! Apparently, it's a network of information very alien to us, yet it has records of our galaxy! Do you know what this means?" Everyone glanced at eachother. Some excited by the news, some confused. "It means, there's intelligent life out there! More advanced than us, even! Cornerian scientists are developing devices to pick up on these signals and put them to use! This network of information just may change the way Lylat lives forever! They've scheduled a public release of these devices that they call "Microsoft Internet Projection Monitors" next month!"

"Microsoft?" questioned Falco right of the bat. "What's that, laundry soap? Tiny laundry soap?"

"I don't think so, Falco." replied Krystal, in deep thought. "Hmm... A record of our galaxy... Do you think it can tell us everything that happened here?"

Peppy's eyes lit up. "That's the best part. Almost everything yet to happen has been documented, and even beyond! There a records of a possible future!"

"You're kidding, right?" asked Fox, who looked very excited himself. "Do you mean that it can tell us what happened to dad? It can tell us if I'll ever see him again?!"

"It seems so." assured Peppy, skimming his eyes back over the paper to make sure he didn't miss anything.

"And Cerinia!" Krystal cut in in a cheery voice. "We can find out what caused Cerinia to explode? Really?"

Peppy again nodded. Slippy looked like he had wet his pants during the excitement. "Guys! We have to order one of these, quick! Dad can probably see about getting us one early! I know he can!"


	2. Post 2

Fox and his crew touched down on Corneria, stepping out into the beautiful metropolis. There were crowds of people in front of various display monitors advertising the revolutionary products soon to be released. The whole town was abuzz, and cries of wonder and excitement filled the air.

"Wow. Sure is lively, eh?" asked Fox as he looked out on the swarms of people staring up at the screens. Slippy darted out in front of everyone.

"Okay, let's go see dad! Hurry, follow me!" Everyone followed him as ordered, until they came to a large, rather important looking building. Slippy lead them in and walked to the service desk stationed by the door.

"May I help you?", asked the dog on duty behind it. Slippy didn't even allow his leader to speak for him. "Yes, we need to see Beltino Toad! Immediately!"

The dog turned and began flipping through some documents and papers beside him. Shortly after, he turned back toward Slippy and cleared him to go with some directions. Slippy dragged the rest of the team behind him as he made quick progress to his father's office.

~~~

"Dad! Dad, you in there?" asked Slippy as he knocked on the office door. It soon opened, revealing Beltino in his uniform.

"Oh, hello, Slippy! And the rest of you too!" greeted the senior toad, shaking hands with the team as they entered. Beltino motioned them to sit down, and took a seat himself. "So, what brings you lads here today?"

"Peppy, Slippy, and, well, all of us, really, are interested in the recent discovery. The one of that data network." said Fox, getting to the point. Beltino slightly nodded his head.

"Oh yes, I'm not surprised. What about it?"

"We wanted to know if you could get us one early, dad! Please?" Slippy quickly begged. Beltino was taken by surprise at this request.

"S-sure... I'll see what I can do. You guys did save us many times, I'm sure they'll permit one to you guys as soon as possible." Smiles spread across the faces of everyone in the room.

"Oh, thank you, Beltino!" squealed Krystal, followed by Slippy's own squeals of delight.

"Yeah, thanks a lot!" added Falco as cooly as he could. Peppy shook Beltino's hand in thanks, a big grin over his aged face too.

"That all you needed?"

"Yes, and thanks again." replied Fox. Beltino allowed the mercs to go, and went to research the soonest he could get his hands on one of these new Internet monitors...

~~~

Well, there's the prologue, pretty much. Enjoy.


	3. Post 3

~~~  
3 weeks later...

The hype over the newly discovered internet was only growing, as was Star Fox's anticipation for it as well. Beltino never contacted them after their discussion three weeks ago, so everyone was on the edge of their seats waiting.

"It's going to be so awesome seeing what life has in store for us next!" commented Falco, practically daydreaming. Krystal sighed in wonder.

"I know. And everything I ever wanted to know is there too..." Fox was also pumped to see information on his father, and sighed himself in thought. Peppy was rocking nearby in an easy chair, also lost in his own mind.

"Just imagine... Beings out there. Intelligent beings that know about us... Do you think we'll ever make contact?"

"The internet will clear that up soon!" cheerfully answered Slippy. Just as he was opening his mouth to comment on why Beltino never contacted them about his mission, ROB received a transmission from the senior Toad.

"Incoming link from Beltino Toad." said ROB's robotic voice as Fox Okay'd it to go through. Beltino's face appeared from the projector in the middle of the room.

"Good evening, boys!" greeted Beltino anxiously. Before anyone could reply, he went on. "You're never going to believe it! I got one! It's here! I'm looking at it!"

Everyone in the room was struck with awe. Could this life changing moment really have arrived? Was their life truely about to become so much more easier that they would never have a hardship again? "Don't leave us hanging, dad! Send it! Send it!" urged Beltino's son. Beltino chuckled.

"Way ahead of you, m'boy. It's on it's way this very moment. Should be arriving any minute!"

Anxiety was practically overflowing in the room. Soon, as promised, a nice, smooth, alluring box printed with an image of a glass monitor arrived in the package teleporter aboard the ship. Like flies to droppings, the team flocked to the box, 'ooh'ing. Fox, as if it was a sacred object, carefully lifted it and sat it down on the floor. He began opening the box, when everyone darted in to salvage the prize from the sea of "peanuts" and styrofoam casing within the box.

"Ohh, thank you Beltino!" cried Fox like a child. Everyone added their own thank you after.

"You boys and girls have fun! And let me use it sometime, okay? Beltino, out!" said Beltino as he cut the connection. Fox and his team were alone now.

"I found the manual!" said Krystal as she fished a booklet out of the box. Falco, however, was the one to yank out the big apple. He set the monitor on the floor, staring at it in it's full, shiny, and modern glory.

"It's... It's so beautiful..." mused Slippy, with a small sniff. All five of the mercenaries were hypnotized by the internet monitor, dreaming of the possibilities and power sitting right in their hands.


	4. Post 4

"What are we waiting for! Let's set it up!" barked Peppy as he was the first to snap out of his trance. The whole scene was simular to children on Christmas morning as they laid eyes on the big present all the children in town would die for. All that was missing was holiday music, a snowy backdrop through the windows, and festive decorations. Oh, and the fact that they were a group of grown, mature adults.

With Krystal reading off the manual, Fox and Falco was busy setting everything up. Slippy watched, and helped when he could, and within an hour, it was ready...

But who was going to use it first? That was the question. Should Fox, being the team leader? How about Peppy being the eldest? Slippy with his dad being the reason it was there in the first place? Bickering was beginning to break out.

"But I deserve to know why I lost everything!" whined Krystal in response to Falco's claim of him being most mature. Fox stepped closer.

"Guys, I'm leader here. I should look first, and figure out how to work it. And my father is something I really want to know about, too."

"Ha! I could have dad take it right back if I wanted to!" said Slippy confidently. "I should use it first, it was my idea to call dad!"

"That doesn't matter, Slippy!" yelled Krystal, "Cerinia just blew up! I have to know why, now!"

"You don't even know how to work it!" spat Fox. Krystal waved the manual tauntingly. Fox growled.

"You morons don't even deserve the thing with how you're acting!" finally snapped Peppy. He stood from his chair and hobbled over. "Go to your rooms! So far I'm the only one proven mature enough to see this right now."

"Oh, whatever you say, DAD!" retaliated Falco. Peppy scowled.

After a bit more fighting, a peaceful solution was decided on. Fox would be on for ten minutes, then Krystal, then Slippy, then Peppy, then Falco. The cycle would last 50 minutes, and would continue from the beginning again.

Fox sat down and pressed the power button. Everyone was crowded around behind him. Fox was soon greeted with a desktop screen, only containing one icon; internet access. Fox touched it with his finger, opening a window to something called Google.

"He's there!" announced Slippy, almost wetting himself. Fox, after a bit of fooling around, found that touching the bar on screen brought up a sheet of labled buttons. He typed in "James McCloud" and pressed "Search".

"Look! There's mention of him right now!" said Peppy, pointing to the first block of text on screen. Fox touched the blue link to a "wikipedia" and scanned his eyes over the page.

"Video games?" asked Fox in confusion. He decided to ignore it and read on to James's profile. "What the-? I don't... recognize this."

Fox was referring to the bit of James helping in another fight in something called "command" and how his team questioned him hearing things. Peppy's face lit up.

"It's true... It's completely true... It DOES have references to the future!"

Fox's hope was renewed. "So I will see him again! Yes!"

And so was the team's first few moments on the internet. Over the course of an hour, much was learned about the mysterious masters of this internet, a race of beings known as humans. Much was learned about themselves, too, it was now public to the team of James appearance to Fox after the battle with Andross. However, as fun as learning more about each other was, it was about to go far. A little too far. And over time they were getting hostile at one another for a few more minutes and compensated time on the wonderful, wonderful internet...


	5. Post 5

Over time, fighting over who was to be on when intensified. It was well over the time the team usually went to bed, but everyone was still up and crowded by the device.

"Okay, Falco, time's up!" said Fox as Falco growled.

"I'm almost done. Just a sec-"

"No! You're done, it's my turn. Up, now!" Falco stood, closing the browser window in disappointment. He glared at Falco as the vulpine sat down where Falco was not even five seconds before.

By this point, the others went off to the side of the room to entertain themselves while they awaited their turns. Falco, Krystal, Slippy, and Peppy were engaged in a fierce tournament of rock-paper-scissors. Krystal continually glanced at a clock for the time.

"So, what do you guys think of this internet?" asked Krystal, sounding quite sleepy.

"It's awesome!" shouted Slippy, though without energy. It was clear to them all, but all failed in accepting it; their new toy was quickly becoming a drug. An addictive one. After what seemed an hour, Fox's ten minutes were up and was forced off at Krystal's command. He replaced Falco in the seat, just as Fox replaced Krystal's position on the nearby floor.

"Ugh, this is annoying..." complained Fox as soon as his bottom made contact with the floor. "Ten minutes isn't enough! It's like I'm on for no time at all!"

Everyone nodded in agreement, and returned to being a sad, bored lot eagerly awaiting their next experience with the virtual mine of knowledge and entertainment. Soon, however, disaster was to strike. And strike it did...

"Fox... Falco..." came Krystal's voice. It was low, and seemed drained. The two men stood to see what she wanted, and soon found why she sounded so shocked. Right there, on the monitor, was a picture of the two engaged in a questionable situation.

"What the...?!" Fox choked out, not believing his eyes. Falco's expression was stuck in a disgusted look that made all his facial features seem tiny. It was pretty priceless.

"...What is this?" asked Krystal suspiciously as she scrolled up to allow them to see the full image; a comic strip from a website called vgcats. Both Fox and Falco were too shocked to defend themselves.

"Eww..." commented Slippy from afar. "Is that what I think it is?" Krystal slowly turned to him, and in one of the most serious voices any of them have ever heard from her, said "Yes."

"Whoa, wait!" shouted Fox defensively. "We- Falco- I- Nothing EVER happened between us, okay?! This... this..."

Falco soon spoke too, but he was more concerned with something else... "Oh, no. I am NOT doing this with Foxy anytime soon! I'm just not! I'll beat myself up if I ever get the urge!"

"Oh, yeah..." trailed Peppy, half laughing. "This could be a future event. I had no idea that's the way you two felt, or will feel, about each other."

"And it was always strange that you called him Foxy." added Slippy, with a concerned scowl. Fox and Falco were in complete disbelief, and cringed to look at each other.

"Well, this is a shock." said Krystal, turning away from the bright red guys. She began to research this further, and in a simple search found yet another questionable piece of dirt. "Guys... There's more..." Krystal pointed to a link labeled "Fox and Falco Sex Audio".

"Oh, no! No!" shouted Falco, wide eyed. Against his will, Krystal brought her hand up and touched it. The page changed, and then came the trouble...


	6. Post 6

Pouring out of the speakers was Fox and Falco's voices as they were nearly ten years ago, saying some pretty dirty things to one another. Everyone was disturbed, and the meaning of that word was stretched to a new extreme when Slippy entered the audio. Krystal quickly mashed the back button, not wanting to soil her thoughts on half the whole team any farther.

"Th- th- th... That... never happened! I swear!" immediately shouted Falco, red as a cherry. Fox was on the ground hiding his face in shame. He was innocent, but that was impossible to prove and it was most likely a foreshadowing of a moment someday in the future...

Slippy was also speechless. Unfortunately for them, both Peppy and Krystal looked convinced. "I don't know what to say." grumbled the vixen. "This has just been too much. I'm disappointed in you all."

Falco, in his rarely seen state of being embarrassed, quickly lashed back in the only way he knew; blame and accusation. "Well- well I'm sure you're not perfect either, Krystal! I always knew there was something under your face you put on when you joined the team!"

"What? I don't think there are any other girls here for me to start a "relationship" with, Falco!" Krystal retaliated. Falco forcefully grabbed Krystal and lifted her from the chair.

"Let's just look, then." said Falco, determined to find dirt on Krystal. It didn't take long at all, a search eventually brought Falco to a page with images. Lots of them. "Oh, look here!" said Falco as he pointed at the pictures of Krystal, in many of which she was either naked, wearing provocative clothing, or touching herself, sometimes with various objects. Falco enlarged one of the ones of Krystal having "fun" with herself, smiling in triumph and pointing. Krystal, recovering from the initial shock, darted forward, rammed Falco out of the chair with her arm, and hammered down on alt and F4. The heavily breathing vixen turned around to face Fox and the rest.

"Well, Krystal, seems you aren't so innocent after all." said Slippy with his arms crossed. "Maybe you should think twice about judging what we might do in the future when what you do probably right now is right there too."

Before Krystal could begin to defend herself, Fox spoke. "But I'm not doing it with Falco even if I was threatened to! I don't know about you guys, but I'm definitely not into that!"

"You sure sounded it in that audio!" spat Slippy, "For all we know YOU could start it, Fox!"

"No, Falco calls me Foxy all the time! That's weird!" responded Fox, glaring at Falco.

"Hey, I'm not the one putting popscicles into my crotch! Now THAT's weird!" retaliated the bird, looking at the blue furred vixen beside him in disgust.

"I- I never would even THINK of using a popscicle for that!" stuttered Krystal, now red herself.

"You guys are young! Relax!" said Peppy, attempting to restore order between the fighting team members. "I don't know what you young ones are into, but I don't-"

"Oh, and just because you're older you automatically don't count?" growled Fox angrily.

"Yeah! I bet you're pretty perverted yourself!" added Krystal, just as hostilely. "How do I know you're not just some horny old man?!"

"What?! That's not true!" shouted Peppy. "Even if I was, at least I would target the opposite gender, _guys_!"

"That's IT!" yelled Falco, pushed into an anger more extreme than any of them had saw him in before. "You guys blow! More than one way too, I'm sure! I'm outta here, I have better things to do than hang out with some closet weirdos!"


	7. Post 7

"Fine, then leave!" yelled Fox, now at a new high for anger too. "Maybe then I won't lose my virginity to a guy!"

"Oh, you still have Slippy! You won't need me, as if I'd want to join your little game anyway!" And with that, Falco stormed off. "I'm getting my stuff now. It was nice knowing you when I thought we had a friendship going, rather than you just wanting me in your room, Fox!"

"No, someone's just mad because we found your secret! Not my fault!" snapped Fox back. Falco just put his hand up and walked off.

"I think I'm leaving too!" huffed Krystal after a few moments silence. Fox whirled to face her.

"Oh, and why? Because you found out something about Falco and maybe Slippy?! Is it really so big of a deal that I may not be interested in you for you to leave, you shallow little-"

Fox was cut off by the sound of a door slamming in the distance. Falco reappeared in the doorway. "I'll be taking some of the food that I helped you losers pay for, so there's that if you even notice!"

Slippy was next to speak, after Falco disappeared again. "So, now everyone's leaving? Great, what a bunch of losers. They find one thing wrong with each other and just run like cowards!"

"No, I'm running because this definitely isn't the place for me!" hissed Krystal as she stood herself. Fox stepped in front of her.

"Oh, it's not?! You wouldn't even be alive if it wasn't for me! So now you just leave because of this?! Slippy's right, you are a coward! You and Falco both!"

Krystal shoved Fox away from her. "Why do you want me to stay so much, hm?! I think it's someone else here who's the shallow one!"

The fighting went on and on, and by the end of it, both Krystal and Falco were officially leaving the team. They were packing their things and were to be gone by next afternoon at the latest...


	8. Post 8

The next morning, Falco was ready to leave at any time. None of the mercs got any sleep the previous night, but all were still wide awake from the constant fighting.

"My turn." bluntly stated Slippy to Fox, who was browsing around several works of literature involving him and future adventures on some place called . He was becoming seriously confused since Krystal and Falco, who made frequent appearences in these documents, were leaving, yet they were to happen sometime or another. Regardless, Slippy was growing more and more impatient, so the vulpine closed the window and let his rather annoying friend on.

A moment of peace finally set into the Great Fox, a moment without name-calling, black mailing, and dirt seeking. Time dwindled, and finally Krystal too had everything ready to go. The vixen beat Falco in confronting Fox about a way off the ship, walking up to Fox immediately after she was finished packing.

"Fox, I'm leaving now. I'm taking an Arwing to the surface."

"Oh, no you're not. You're not getting away with one of the team's Arwings!"

"Then how do I get off of this thing?! I'm taking an Arwing, I'll send it back when I get th-"

"I said no! I can't trust you with it! You'll probably try to steal it!"

"I don't care about your stupid fighter! You can have it, I just want to get away from here!"

"Fine! But if you even dare try to steal it, I'll-"

"I said I don't want it! Thank you, I'll be leaving in just a few minutes, don't you worry!"

Fox growled and watched her disappear around the corner, out of sight. Falco showed up only seconds after her departure.

"I'm going now. I heard you tell Krystal she could borrow an Arwing, so I'll see you later."

"Whatever, Falco. Just be sure to return it..."

"I would rather not keep anything belonging to you, trust me..."

Fox turned to look Falco in the eye. "What are you saying...?"

"Nevermind. Just nevermind..." replied Falco as he turned and left himself.

Fox was now alone, save for Peppy dozing off and Slippy being lost on the internet. Rob soon announced Krystal and Falco's departure. They were gone. Off the team. Out. And it was official. Fox went to his quarters to catch a few hours of sleep, leaving Slippy a good while to be on, which he'd have to pay for of course. If anything, a good thing that came out of this whole thing was more time on the internet for him, with two people gone...


	9. Post 9

~~~  
2 months later...

Fox was sitting in the computer chair, like always. It had consumed his life; he now spent more time on it than he did anything else. He wasn't the only one, now released publicly, a good percent of Lylat's population was hooked. The vulpine scrolled down pages, ran searches, and regularly glanced some message boards he had found. He had himself an internet "life" that he constantly felt needed attention. However, he noticed that many of the stories and prophecies he had read over the months weren't happening. Krystal and Falco were gone, so they already were delayed, and it was unlikely he was going to see them again considering he had nothing from them since they left. His relation with Slippy and Peppy were diminishing too, Peppy was slowly turning crankier and crankier and wanted on whenever he demanded it, and he and Slippy fought like siblings over it. It was quite sad. Rob hadn't even been oiled in months.

Fox felt very confused. Everything on this internet concerning him wasn't coming true. He hadn't saw his father, no anglars, no happy romances between him and a certain vixen he hadn't seen in months, no big epic threats to the galaxy he'd have to stop...

Then it hit him. Did the discovery of this information database throw the future out of line? Was this all not happening because the team separated due to them finding some things out about eachother?

"My turn, Fox." Grumbled Peppy as he hobbled into the room. Fox turned to argue, but decided not to and gave the chair up without a fight.

"Peppy?" asked Fox curiously.

"Yeah?"

"Do you ever wonder if we were really meant to see all this?"

"No. Why?"

Fox sighed. He felt pretty empty. He looked back on the recent months and realized that, quite simply, his life was being ruined. Whenever he was on the web, though, that feeling of emptiness disappeared. It was a blessing and a curse.

There was no time to be getting all down with regret, though. Fox had a job to do on Corneria that he had put off for too long. A ship can't fly if it doesn't have the proper supplies, and shopping needed to be done as well. With a quick note to Peppy, Fox ordered Rob to set the Great Fox on a course to Corneria's bay.

~

The wait wasn't very long, they were in Corneria's orbit beforehand. Fox exited the ship into the hangar, signing forms confirming his arrival and set to town. What he saw shocked him.

The streets. Usually lively, were now bare. Very few people traversed the streets, the noise of the bustling metropolis was gone. Only the sound of the blowing breeze hit the vulpine's ears.


	10. Post 10

Shaking the spooky feeling off, he carried on toward the super market. Upon arrival, he noticed that it too was empty compared to it's usual activity. The people who were there usually shot odd glances at Fox as he passed them. Fox approached the check outs after seeking out everything he needed.

"Business slow today?" asked Fox casually as the cashier ran his items through scanners.

"Been for a while. I just want to go home." replied the cashier, a young vulpine in his later teens.

"Internet?" asked Fox, knowing that that was the reason. The cashier nodded.

Fox took his goods after paying, all packaged compactly in a space pocket for easy carrying of big loads, and exited the store. He made his way back to the hangars and dropped his goods off in the Great Fox, leaving again and approaching one of the booths stationed nearby.

"May I help you?" asked the Cornerian on duty behind the desk. It was a redundant question, of course she could. That's why he was there.

"Yes. My ship needs a refuel."

"Okay. That will be 300 credits."

Fox paid up, and left. The refueling process usually took a little bit, so he had a bit of freetime. Peppy was still probably on the internet, so maybe he could find someplace around with public access. He set out to look, but little did he know that he was going to get a bit more than what he bargained for...


	11. Post 11

Fox walked down the streets in Lylat's largest city, but it sure didn't feel like it was. He stopped in front of a cafe. There had to be a so-nicknamed "computer" in there. He entered, and saw some just like he expected. He must have had a sixth sense for this stuff!

And most likely a seventh for trouble, because he nearly crapped himself when he saw the employee currently on duty. It was a woman, familiar, she was, with fur of blue and a face full of scowl. She was on her own computer, behind the counter, and didn't notice Fox despite all her having to do is look up.

Fox suddenly felt as if he should turn around and find someplace else to avoid interaction with her. He began walking backwards out the door, but he began doubting his chances at finding another place like this quickly. Youtube was beckoning him through his subconscious...

Manning up, he marched up to the counter like he had no idea who Krystal was and stood waiting for service. Krystal sighed angrily and turned to help her would-be customer.

"How may I-" Krystal cut off as she noticed who she was talking to. She looked him over, stopping at his eyes. "What do you want from me, Fox?"

"Uh, internet?" said Fox, losing his nerve.

"Oh, that's all? You have your own, get out and use it."

"I can't. I have the right to be here and use one of these ones."

"They're all taken."

"There's one right there!"

"It's reserved."

"Stop lying!"

"I'm not lying! And shut up!"

Fox was growing angry with Krystal's attitude.

"Why?! Because I'm here for service and since you work here you don't agree with that?!"

"No! Shut up!" hissed Krystal, making a sharp thrusting motion with her finger to something behind Fox. He turned and saw that every head in the cafe was focused on them. "Don't. Draw. Attention!"

Fox didn't get it. These people sure seemed interested enough, but there really wasn't a reason for THIS despite them being heroes and all. "...Why not?" finally asked the vulpine, noting the cold bitter silence.

"This!" spat Krystal in a harsh whisper as she pointed at her computer. "Ever since THIS came with all those images of me, everyone has been looking at me like I'm trash!"

Fox raised a brow.

"So please don't draw attention to me. Especially since it's you, people will be watching my every move! It's not just me in those pictures, you're there in some too! Just please leave now before anything happens."

Fox understood, but he was having none of it. More silence followed before he made his statement. "...Still want internet."

"Too bad! You and the rest of your stupid team were jerks, and I already covered the main reasons!"

"We were? I thought it was you who started it all by digging out sex audios of me, Falco, and Slippy!"

"It was by accident!"

"Oh, sure! It was PURELY accidental that you found that of all things on there! What were you searching?"


	12. Post 12

"Fox, let's not argue about this here..."

"Then don't start this stuff!"

"I didn't start anything! If you're going to keep this up, then at least let's do it in private so the entire world doesn't hear!"

"Fine by me. Where are we going?"

Krystal pointed to a back room behind her. She let Fox in, stirring some interested grunts from a few spectators. She ignored them and walked in herself, closing the door. "Make this quick."

"Alright, Krystal, just how did you find that stuff? Were you searching things you shouldn't have been?!"

"No, I just stumbled upon it..."

"Then you left. Why? I can only think that you were mad that you may not get a chance at that with me or something. You always did have that feel about you. Every time I talked to you or a comment aimed at us came up..."

"What are you talking about? What feel?"

"You know what I'm talking about. Anyway, that's the only reason I can think of, and it just backs that up. Even further with all those pictures of you around the internet..."

Krystal caught on, and scowled. "Are you saying that I was only interested in you because I wanted you in bed?"

"Well... Yeah, I am." stated Fox quite sarcastically.

"Well, I didn't! I actually thought you were a nice person for quite a while, but I see how that can all suddenly change now..."

"I didn't change anything! You're the one that suddenly changed when you found that I may have liked other guys!"

"Well, yes! It was all there! Your voices, everything! How was I not to be shocked?"

"So you don't deny it! You DID change because of that! You lost it when you discovered I might not have been under your shallow little thumb after all, right?"

"What?! Fox, for the last time I didn't think of you like that!"


	13. Post 13

"Oh, sure. Those pictures of you on the internet explain a lot. They were either you before I met you, you in the future, or for the more personal ones, you now! It's in there, and you know it. Stop lying to us both!"

"I'm not lying! You say you don't like Falco in that way, but you're refusing to believe me about not sleeping around and whoring myself out?! You're a hypocrite!"

"I'm sure you'd know all about it, wouldn't you, Popsicles?"

Krystal lost it. She stepped toward Fox, raised her arms with a slight pause, and threw them around Fox's neck. Fox's own shot up and grabbed her wrists to soften the pressure that the vixen was putting on his throat. He could only choke, repel her grip, and look into her menacing and hate filled face. Suddenly, Krystal's attack loosened, allowing fox to throw a hard punch into her face to stun her enough to get free. She fell to the ground, and Fox backed away gasping.

"F-Fox...!" squeaked Krystal as she pushed herself from the floor. She was shaking very badly, as was Fox. "I- I'm sorry! I don't- I don't know..."

Tears began welling up in her eyes, but Fox only leered a cold glare. She did just try to kill him, after all.

"You- you're insane!" choked Fox between breaths. Krystal stood to her feet, now crying.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean- I lost control- I..."

"You're apologizing?" said Fox, now not gasping so hard but still clutching his chest. "After all you just said and did, NOW you decide to act friendly?! You just tried to kill me!"

"I didn't mean to... I swear..." was the sobbing vixen's reply. Suddenly, a new voice spoke from the distance.

"Everything okay back there?" asked one of the workers from the back, noting the commotion. He soon showed up, and looked over the scene. "What's going on?"

"Nothing. I just tripped..." lied Krystal in the most normal voice she could. He shrugged and walked away, despite how obvious her fib was.

"...I could have just told him you tried to murder me." commented Fox as the guy left. "I think someone needs anger management..."

~~~

"Peppy! My turn! Now!" yelled an annoyed Toad at the recently-turned grumpy old hare. Peppy finally got off with a growl when a woman's voice announced the status of the ship's refueling.

"Refueling complete. You're ready to go."

"Oh, and guess what that is?" chuckled Peppy with a menacing smile. "We're not allowed to stay in this bay. Other crafts need to use it. I'm way too old to go out and find Fox so we can get out of here..."

"Oh my- you SUCK!" snapped Slippy as he jumped right back up and headed for the exit, growling. "But when I get back, I BETTER be on..."

And with that, the frog left to find Fox. However, like Fox before him, he was in for a small surprise along the way...


	14. Post 14

Slippy walked through the mostly bare streets on the lookout for Fox. He couldn't have been far, and he said he was just taking a walk, so he was BOUND to bump into him.

...Or so the dense Toad believed. It never occured to him that Fox was already on his way back and would slip by Slippy to the GreatFox. Regardless, street after street the frog traced, alley after alley he glanced down. He soon heard voices coming from around the corner, down a space between two buildings. The toad, curious, looked down and saw a group of three or four shady men, dressed in leather jackets and talking like they had no respect for Lylat's standard tongue.

Foolishly, Slippy saw fit to interact with these individuals. "Hey!", called the toad, turning each of their heads.

"What up?" yelled back one of the guys. Slippy walked closer.

"Have you guys seen Fox McCloud anywhere?"

"Fox? Dat homie?"

One of the man's buddies spoke after. "Uh... Like, you know this Fox dawg, G? You... uh, homies with him... yo?"

Slippy couldn't stand this. These guys were talking like morons! It made his brain melt just reading it on the internet, but now people were actually SPEAKING this stuff? "Well, yeah, I'm a member of his team. Slippy's my name. Slippy Toad."

"Uh... Right." said the man, still a rookie to this whole gangsta talk deal. "I think we got a beef with that hayta, playa! One o' our gorillas ain't cool with dat mofo, yoyo."

"...What?" said Slippy, utterly lost. The man ignored him, and opened a door behind him that must have went to their base.

"Yo, Falco-dawg! Get out here, we got ourselves a some trouble, fo rizzle! Get out here! ...Dawg!"

"Falco?" asked Slippy, who's eye twitched as soon as the words were out. Sure enough, out stepped a familiar avian clad in black leather and some other unnecessary accessories to fit this new culture they ripped from the internet.

"What's the problem, G? We gonna have to bust a cap in his..." Falco's voice trailed off as he recognized who was standing there. "Uh, go back inside, buddas. I'll handle this gangsta."

With confused and sheepish grunts, the wannabes went into the building. Falco waited, and then faced Slippy. "What. Are. You. DOING. Here?!"

~~~

Around this time, Fox slumped back into the Greatfox. He entered the computer room, seeing Peppy still on. "Hey Peppy. My turn."

"Is not." growled Peppy. "So, I sent Slippy to look for you. Where is he?"

"Not with me. I just got back from dealing with the biggest freak I've ever saw."

"And that would be?"

"Krystal got a job down at the cafe I went to. The idiot tried to murder me!"

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah. She was crying for a while after it. She eventually started screaming 'I hate you! I hate you!' at me after I told her she should be sent to a mental institution."

Peppy spun the chair around to face Fox. "Let me guess, you kissed and made up?"

"Of course not! I left! That stupid bimbo isn't worth my time, especially after trying to strangle me!"

"Don't blame you. I always knew she was bad news the first day I saw her."

"I realized that as well. Turns out she was using me all this time, and I was too stupid to see it."

"Yeah. Learn and move on. Slippy needs to come back soon before we get in trouble for staying in this bay."

Fox nodded in agreement. "So... I still want on. "

"Too bad!"

Fox growled. "Fine, five more minutes. That's all I'm giving you..."


	15. Post 15

"...I never want to see Fox's face again!" spat Falco angrily. Slippy had his chest puffed out and was standing up and close to Falco.

"Why not? So you can do this instead?! You look like a moron! You ARE a moron for running in the first place! Realize where your priorities are before you start jumping back and forth between your idiot gang and us!"

"Well, I know my 'idiot gang members' don't want to stick it up my butt! I can sleep without worrying about Fox stalking in on me!"

"Hmm... I dunno, you seemed pretty willing in that audio. You're taking this far too defensively! You're in denial, aren't you?!"

"Shut up, Slippy, just SHUT UP!" Falco was in a rage now. Rather than his voice coming out normally, it seemed to boom from the back of his throat. "I would NEVER want to do that with Fox or any other guy! And I'm not going to hang around someone who'll no doubt convert me!"

"Falco, I doubt you need converting, look at you with Katt, she likes you, you know she does, but you're mean to her! Why's that?"

"Because she's annoying! I mean, she's a good person and all, but I don't want to love her!"

Slippy seemed to be holding back laughter, but he couldn't resist, he laughed and, in a half whisper, uttered "Because you wanted to love Fox..."

That crossed the line. Falco decked the toad on the top of the nose. Slippy flinched and yelped, before leaping up onto Falco's face and beating at his beak. Falco and the toad fell to the ground, and an all out brawl ensued. Faces were kicked, ribs were punched, blows traded back and forth until Falco's fellow gangsters caught ear of the skirmish and pulled Falco away.

They immediately, all in chorus, began shooting threats to the toad and "his mama" before Slippy started to leave. "Yeah, good to see you're still the same Falco I knew!" yelled the bruised frog.

"Yeah, and good to see you're still a fruity tool!" Falco retaliated. "Be sure to tell Fox he's disgusting for me, okay?!"

Slippy didn't bother answering and kept walking. He started back toward the GreatFox, muttering to himself the entire way.


	16. Post 16

Slippy entered the GreatFox to see Peppy and Fox waiting. This did not please him, though, after what had just happened.

"Hey Slip. I was about to go look for you." greeted Fox rather glumly. Slippy growled.

"Hey, Fox. I ran into Falco."

"That why you look all beat up?" Slippy nodded. Fox chuckled. "What a coincidence. I ran into Krystal and she physically assaulted me too."

"Falco told me to tell you that 'You're disgusting' and all that other stuff. Seems he isn't over the whole sex deal."

"I'm not either. I'm glad their gone. Really. Look how they are right now. They attacked us!"

"Well I'm not glad." huffed Slippy, preparing to rant. "Ever since we split our lives have been ruined. No one is in a good mood, everyone's grouchy and hostile, I'm sick of it. I want my life back!"

"I still think it's better with them gone. They're such butth-"

"So are you, Fox!" snapped Slippy. "I hate our life! I hate what's become of us! I hate it all!"

Peppy spoke from across the room. "Calm down. You're sounding like those "emos" I've heard so much about on the internet."

Slippy stepped forward to retaliate, but decided not to. "I'm going to my room..."

Slippy left the two confused, but they shrugged it off and continued what they were doing anyway; internet, internet, more internet.

~~~  
(yet another week later...)

The GreatFox hovered above corneria, like always. Slippy was still angry, Peppy was still grouchy, and Fox was still edgy as well. His next adventure wouldn't be on the ground, but on the web instead. He had figured out how a "myspace" works and created an account for himself, using pictures of himself around the internet since he had no way of getting fresh pictures he took himself.

Before long, Fox began getting friend requests. They were all people he didn't know, but they commented him as if they were old friends. This puzzled the vulpine greatly, and creeped him out some too.

"Hey, Slippy."

"Yeah?"

"There's a bunch of guys here who... know me. They're all "humans," the supposed creator of the internet. That's odd..."

"Well, they did know about us before we discovered it."

"I guess you're right."

Fox messed with this myspace for a while. It was intriguing. EVERYONE was there, waiting for your messages. Out of curiosity and desire for friends, Fox began running searches of people he knew. He started with Krystal, and searched her name. She didn't show up, so he decided to make it more specific.

"Hey, Slippy, what was Krystal's last name?"

"Uh... I dunno. I don't think she ever mentioned it."

"That sucks."

"Why do you ask? I thought you..."

" . I'm seeing if she has one."

"Oh. Try adding "fox" or something."

Fox did, and up came her profile. Oh, wait, two! No, three! Several more popped up, confusing the fox and toad.

"Which one do you think is her...?"

Fox scrolled up and down. "This one seems most like her." stated Fox, clicking one titled "Kinky Krystal". He looked over the page. "Yeah, I bet this one is hers."


	17. Post 17

Slippy sighed, and then choked on his own saliva when his eyes scanned over a certain line. "Sh-sh-she wants PANTHER?!"

"I knew it!" said Fox almost victoriously. "I knew she would fall for him! That day on Corneria, the aparoids, she- ugh, they both make me so sick!" Fox clicked back and entered another. He looked around, seeing comments, viewing pics.

"Alot of people sure like her, don't they?" pondered Slippy, noting her flood of fanboyish comments on most pages. "Maybe these are all her's?"

"Maybe." said Fox as he went back to the search bar. "That was fun. Let's see Falco..."

The same situation. There were many different profiles, so the two assumed they all belonged to Falco. Fox entered one and saw the friend list. The enire team was there.

"I thought you said he hated me." said Fox in wonder. He then got an idea. "Oh, you wanna see my page? Here..." He clicked the link to his page, only, it wasn't his page.

"Uh... Cool." said Slippy, eyeballing it.

"Wait, this isn't mine..."

"Oh, really? Must be an imposter, I guess. Maybe the others were mostly imposters too."

Fox clicked the button leading home, to his page. He let Slippy look at it, then checked his stuff. He had a new request, from a "Krystal".

"Ohh, look."

"You think that's really her?"

"Could be. I'm accepting and seeing what she says."

And so Fox did. He took a quick glance at her account before getting a message. Fox read it, a simple "Hi, Fox.". Fox glanced at Slippy. "Think it's worth it?"

"I don't care." replied the toad. Fox decided to reply.

"What... do... you... want... Krystal?" mumbled Fox aloud as he typed the message. He sent it and waited. A reply came back. Blind and ignorant to what recently happened, it was, but it did contain a request to add her on something called "MSN Messenger". Fox looked into it and downloaded it. He added her name after creating a name there.

"This won't end well..." said Slippy with a slight facepalm.

"Don't worry, I'm just messing with her. This might not even be her."

Fox was slapped in the face with the message he recieved soon after, though. It said:

Krystal: why are you mad? still upset over me leaving you?

Right down to the grammar. "Oh god, it IS her!" squealed Slippy in surprise. Fox began typing after getting over his own shock.

"No. I'm glad you're gone." read the vulpine aloud as he typed his message. He pressed enter and waited.

Krystal: really? I'm happy with wolf now thank you.

Fox and Slippy stared, exchanged glances, and burst out laughing.

FoxMcCloud: Wolf? You're kidding, right?

Krystal: no he let me on his team remember? hes really nice and i love him now

Fox facepalmed.

FoxMcCloud: What happened to your cafe job? And you're really swinging around that team, aren't you?

Krystal: you mean panther? I love him too, hes so sweet.

FoxMcCloud: First all what we went through, now this. Whore.

Krystal: what?

FoxMcCloud: Don't play dumb. Or are you even playing and are really just that stupid?

Krystal: :(

FoxMcCloud: Don't act sad, you tried to kill me a week ago! Just go off with whoever you're around and don't contact me again...

Krystal: your mean

FoxMcCloud: Only because you deserve it.

Fox then closed the window and signed out of the messenger. "Well, that felt good."

"Seriously..." trailed Slippy, in total awe at the war he was witnessing. "By the way, it's my turn. I think I'll make one of those myspace thingimijigs too."

Fox closed everything and let Slippy on...


	18. Post 18

Krystal sat at the counter, browsing the net while working. Currently, she was reading tales of adventures she was to have, and almost all included the team she was formerly on. Only a few had her solo, like she was now. This confused her, if these were to happen then it meant she'd reunite with Fox, Slippy, and the rest, but then again there were so many that it would be almost impossible for them all to happen in her lifetime unless they happened one after the other, and even more puzzling, more than one detailed her and other members' deaths. How could someone die more than once? Were these just many possible events that could happen in her life?

Krystal was also no fool to her popularity on this internet. She was well aware of her many fansites and legions of fanboys who posted pornography featuring her back and forth. She knew that her image was out on the internet for people to download and litterally make her their toy. This all bothered her at one point, but she eventually learned to ignore it and realize that if she was to become a porn star, it wouldn't be anytime soon and she'd have to be desperate for money to even consider it.

Like almost every day since she left, customers came and went. She'd periodically would stop to service them, ignoring the occasional one who recognized her and either made a lewd comment or criticism, and then right back on she went, though today, another familiar customer entered the cafe.

"Been forever since I've been here..." mumbled a rather large gentleman as he neared the counter. Krystal turned to face the customer, like always.

"May I help you?"

"Mmm... I think I've seen you before."

"Not interested." quickly snapped Krystal, who was used to this stuff.

"Ha ha, still not, huh? But I helped you so much during the aparoid invasion."

Krystal then noticed it was Panther standing there. Panther Carrouso. The same Panther Carrouso who repeatedly hit on her during the aparoid mission. What was he doing here, and why hasn't he been shot yet?

"So, I came for some food, but I guess I got lucky and got me something else too." Panther raised his brow. Krystal frowned.

"I'll take your order, then."

"I'll take some steak with a side of you." flirted the black cat. Krystal sighed. "You know, darling, I never knew you could be so fiesty and wild. You're my type of lady."

"What?" asked Krystal confused, though had a slight idea what he was getting at.

"That internet is really something, you know. I love you more and more as we speak."


	19. Post 19

Oh, god. As if the other people bugging her wasn't enough, here was Panther thinking that she was about to start getting frisky with him. "...I'll just go get that steak." replied Krystal, attempting to avoid further discussion with him.

"Hey!" shouted a voice from behind Panther. "Hurry up, I'm hungry!"

Krystal looked at the source of the voice, seeing Falco's small frame peeking from behind Panther. Krystal decided to pretend she didn't see him and relayed that order of steak to some co workers.

She returned and sat back down in her chair. "You can go take a seat now, Panther." glumly stated Krystal. The cat side stepped and sat on a stool right in front of her.

"Done." said Panther smoothly, glueing his eyes to her in a very discomforting way. Falco, who was next, stepped up.

"May I help you?" said Krystal, hoping Falco wouldn't recognize her. Her hopes were crushed, however.

"Hey, it's popsicles. How's your new life?" sarcastically asked the bird. Krystal wanted to say "good", but took a glance at Panther and changed her mind.

"Badly."

"And why is that?"

"Just let me take your order."

"Alright, fine. Pancakes. Three."

Krystal jotted it down on a piece of paper. "That all?"

"And a drink of 7-pup, I guess. Oh, and why is he here?" Falco pointed at Panther.

"He's a customer, but I don't think he'll be leaving anytime soon..."

"Understandable. Seeing what you do, and all."

"I work in a cafe, Falco."

"I guess so. Or did I accidentally walk into a bar?"

Krystal facepalmed. "Go take a seat, please." Falco obeyed, and Krystal took his order back to the appropriate people. Falco sat down at an empty table and waited, thinking to himself about his own life.


	20. Post 20

Falco's pancakes soon arrived. They were steaming, served with two hot cups of syrup, and smelled like heaven. He was eager to dig in, but he had to butter it first. The 30 seconds it took to do so were torture.

Speaking of torture, Krystal's browsing on the internet led her to a shocking discovery. Even more shocking than what was seen on there _all the time._ She had found a picture of herself, mangled and bloody. Innards and organs were exposed, and she was without a doubt dead.

Naturally, this lead her to uneasyness. It was clearly done with weapons and by an intelligent being. It looked like a brutal assassination. The only person she could think of that would hate her enough to do something like that, or hire someone to do it, would be Fox or someone else from the StarFox team. While the idea was frightening to her, she at least knew that at some point someone would try to kill her. Definitely useful information.

"Something troubling you, beautiful?" inquired a certain panther who was still just sitting and gazing at her. Krystal had completely forgotten that he was there.

"P-panther..." stuttered the vixen in slight surprise. Panther simply purred.

"Mmm... Don't worry, I saw..."

"I'm not moving in with you or Wolf." bluntly stated Krystal before the question could be asked. Panther frowned.

"Fine... I can still watch over you. I can protect you. I was an assassin formerly. I know how hitmen think, and can stop them."

Krystal actually began to consider it, but knew that by accepting she'd put herself in misery as she'd have to hang around him all month. "I don't know, Panther... I appreciate the thought, but..."

"But...?"

"I just... can't."

"Your loss. I wouldn't have even charged you."


	21. Post 21

Meanwhile, Falco wolfed his pancakes into his beak, rudely chewing and swallowing. It was quite disgusting, yet manly. He finished rather quickly, and stood. He walked back to the front desk to pay.

"That was good." said Falco as he fingered through his money. "Here, here's a little tip. Maybe you can buy yourself some more "products" when all the ones you have now melt."

"That's getting old, Falco. And for the last time, it isn't true."

Falco grinned sarcastically. "Look, I'm paying you here. I don't think you should be saying much."

"Whatever, Falco. Thank you. And come again."

Falco began to leave. Krystal suddenly called out to him again.

"Falco, wait!"

"What? I paid the right amount, I swear."

"Not that. Please answer me honestly. Would you ever try to hurt me?"

Falco burst out laughing. "No, why?"

"Just making sure..."

Panther butted in. "It seems someone is out to-"

"Shut up, Panther." said Krystal, hushing him. Falco's brow raised. "Just nevermind. You can go now."

"You're weird." commented Falco as he turned around. He exited the building.

"And goodbye to you too." angrily huffed Krystal as she sat back down. Panther continued stalking her like a hawk.

~~~

"What is THIS?!" shrieked Slippy as he stared wide eyed at the moniter. Fox looked and couldn't decide whether to laugh at Slippy's shock or throw up at the actual image. Slippy had come across a picture of his father raping a vixen that happened to formerly be on their team.

"Wow. When did THIS happen?" asked Fox.

"Oh, I'm talking to him about this!"

Fox watched in amusement as Slippy fumed in both rage and embarrassment. The toad went back and decided to go somewhere else, to a place called " ." He only knew of the social boards, Like Current Events, Random Insanity, and others, along with the more popular game boards like Super Smash Bros. Melee. Fox loomed behind him, noting that it was almost time for them to switch...


	22. Post 22

Minutes later, Fox had taken over the computer leaving Slippy to go do... whatever he did. By now he had quite a big "internet life", socializing with these "humans" over messengers and forums.

However, as was almost everyone in Lylat, he was a total n00b. He believed everything he heard, and he simply could not recognize sarcasm or jokes. Occasionally, he'd ask one of his buddies a question or ask for confirmation that they were an all-knowing race, and no matter how sarcastic their remark was, he believed their "play along."

At this particular time, someone was telling him the end of all cosmos was coming soon. Like a week soon. Fox, naturally, was worried, and expected another alien invasion or a doomsday device made by Andross ticking away somewhere. Instead of springing into action and warning everyone, Fox did what he had come to do best these days: be lazy and have "just ten more minutes."

~~~

Meanwhile, Falco sat with his gang of total losers on a newer, more portable version of the so-called computer. Falco's once respectable gang went to the dogs shortly after the internet revealed how true gangsters do it. Only problem was is that they failed at following those "guidelines," barely even knowing what drugs were aside from painkillers and cold medicines, and not having the marbles to mug someone in fear of being arrested. They were truly nothing anymore, simply guarding what money they did manage to steal.

"Yo, Falco-dawg, what are ya doin'?" asked a cat sitting beside the avian. Falco quickly closed out of a window beginning with "4" and ending with "chan" and responded to the cat with "Nothing." The cat shrugged. "That sounds boring. Will ya let your homie see that for a minute?"

"Not yet." replied Falco. The cat frowned.

"Well, let me know when I can, ya dig?"

"Yeah, fo sho."

Falco had a slight idea of just how much their inherited language sucked, as he never used it in any setting beside his sheepish gang he was a member of. The cat left, and Falco reopened the window. He also brought a conversation back up from the task bar. He was talking to Krystal, who had somehow gotten his IM from someone. She was a nervous wreck, apparently, and was prattling on about how she unable to stop watching out the window and that every noise made scared her out of her pants, even though it was normal seeing that she lived in an apartment.

Falco could only half ignore her, as she pumped messages out faster than he could even reply, and he just thought the whole thing to be childish. He had better things to do than babysit someone he barely even cared about anymore.

Falco also had another face he never saw anymore on his friend list. Katt Monroe had also gotten ahold of a computer, and she and Falco occasionally talked. Katt had heard of the team's breaking up, and found it silly. Of course, she also liked it. It was hilarious to her, and she wasn't afraid to use it to her own, twisted amusement...


	23. Post 23

Weeks later, things were not getting any better for anyone. Krystal had become so jumpy and worriful to the point of losing her mind, the "gangsta" speak was starting to annoy even Falco, Slippy couldn't stand not being on the computer looking up how to create human appliances, and Fox was still dealing with fake account issues. No one really knew about Peppy since he became so distanced and grumpy. At this particular time, Fox was on and talking to Katt.

Fox: Gah, this is annoying. How do I have so many impostors?  
Katt: Maybe they like you.  
Fox: I guess, but it still makes it hard to say I'm the real thing.  
Katt: Deal with it, I guess. What can you do?  
Fox: Nothing much. But I have all the time in the universe. I'm in no hurry.  
Katt: Really? I thought you were always busy.  
Fox: Nope. Not anymore. StarFox has sort of fallen apart. We only have two pilots now.  
Katt: I've heard about that. Only you and frog-boy now?  
Fox: Yep. But even he's irritating.  
Katt: At least he stuck with you. Falco and Krystal abandoned you.  
Fox: I wouldn't quite say that. It's not like I begged them to stay.  
Katt: Don't you miss them?  
Fox: Nope.  
Katt: Why not?  
Fox: Falco was a complete jerk. I was sick of him, to be honest. Krystal was cool until I learned how she really was.  
Katt: Ha ha, you hate her because of that?  
Fox: Partly. The other half comes from her trying to strangle me when I confronted her about it.  
Katt: Drama...  
Fox: Yeah.

There was a long pause. Finally, Katt said something to continue the conversation.

Katt: Hey, Fox. I just had an idea.  
Fox: ?  
Katt: You said you only had two pilots left? I could fill in for one.  
Fox: Uh...  
Katt: Don't decide right away. Maybe you should come over and make up your mind.

Slippy happened to walk in at this point. He read over Fox's shoulder to the last line. "Whoa. Is Katt coming on to you?"

"I don't think so." replied Fox calmly.

Fox: Okay. Sounds good.  
Katt: Alright then. Bye.  
Fox: Bye.

Katt appeared to have signed off her messenger, but the truth was she went invisible to Fox. Falco was on, and without any hesitation, she started a conversation...


	24. Post 24

"Katt, what do you think you're doing?" said Falco's message to the feline.

"Just saying hi" was the response.

Falco: Katt, you don't have to do that every day. I'm a very busy guy.  
Katt: Aw, too busy to even talk to me?  
Falco: I'm not your boyfriend, Katt.  
Katt: You are now.  
Falco: I don't even like you.  
Katt: You do too. Why do you pretend you hate me, it's just like what every boy did in second grade.  
Falco: I'm not in second grade, so maybe I really don't like you.  
Katt: But I know that you do.  
Falco: And I know that I don't.  
Katt: Prove it. Why don't you come over and see if you can tell that to my face?  
Falco: You sure that's all you want me there for?  
Katt: See? You thought that immediately after I invited you. I knew you had a crush on me. 3  
Falco: You're obnoxious.  
Katt: You're a liar. I'm serious, come tell me this to my face. You won't be able to, I guarantee it.  
Falco: No.  
Katt: Wuss.  
Falco: I'm too busy. I'm not going all the way over there to say a sentence to you.  
Katt: You can stay a while. Come on!  
Falco: Ugh, fine. You'll keep bugging me if I don't.

And with that, Katt went invisible and went to the last subject on her list, Krystal...


	25. Post 25

"Hey there." came the message on Krystal's screen. It was Katt, of course.

"Hello." was the reply.

Katt: How's life?  
Krystal: Not that great.  
Katt: Oh? What's the matter, darling?  
Krystal: The usual. The only person nice to me anymore is Panther, but he's a little creepy.  
Katt: I'm not nice?  
Krystal: No, not that. I mean of the people I see everyday. Panther shows up regularly at the cafe I work at and just sits there. He talks sometimes, but I think he is too afraid to say anything.  
Katt: Oh, I bet he likes you.  
Krystal: Yeah, he does. But it's hard to tell how sincere he is. He is a huge flirt.  
Katt: I've been lonely lately. I know that you've had it rough recently too, so why not come down for a bit of girl time?  
Krystal: Girl time?  
Katt: Yeah, you know, hang out, talk about things that girls do, that thing.  
Krystal: I don't know, I have work to worry about...  
Katt: It will only be a few hours. Just come later, I'll be waiting.  
Krystal: Oh, fine. But I'm not staying long. I'm busy.

"Excellent, dear." mumbled Katt with a smile. She now had the entire team coming over at roughly the same time. If one arrived earlier than the others, then she could occupy them until the rest showed up. It was going to be one hectic show to watch...

~~~

Thirty minutes later, Katt already had a visiter pounding on her door. The viciousness of the pounds led her to guess this could be none other than Falco. She opened the door and, with a seductive smile, invited him in.

"So, you came to say something to me?" asked Katt teasingly. Falco somehow formed a frown with his beak.

"Well, I don't like you. That simple." said Falco in an almost choked up sort of way.

"Then why did you come all the way out here? Come on, you know I'm worth it."

Falco didn't answer. He took the torture of Katt felling his arms up and generally just trying to get him to give in. Falco was stubborn, however. The scowl never left his face, but rarely did a word come from his mouth.

"So, wanna sit down?" asked Katt, motioning to a loveseat across the room. "You can sit down there and tell me all about how you hate me." Falco scoffed. He walked over and took a seat, Katt hot on his tail. "See, I knew you cared enough to sit with me."

"I just got tired of standing." muttered Falco. "Now are you done playing your games?"

"Not until you stop playing them with me." replied Katt softly. She persisted in rubbing Falco all over the place, switching between his arms, neck, and leg. Falco sighed hopelessly.

Minutes later, a second person showed up at the door. Katt left Falco to answer it, seeing Fox.

"Hey, Katt. Sorry I came so early, but I wanted to get this out of the way. Are you sure you have what it takes to- Falco?! What's he doing here?!"

Katt faked an awkward groan as Falco stood up and intimidatingly waved his arms. "Is there a problem with me being here?" said the bird confidently. Fox glared.

"Break it up, you two. You can both be here, can't you?" asked Katt sweetly. Fox and Falco were too busy having an intense staring match to pay attention.


	26. Post 26

"...Anyway, Katt, you are welcome to join the team if you think you're ready. Maybe you can be a good member unlike SOMEONE in this room." said Fox, still not breaking eye contact with the cocky avian in front of him.

"Oh, I was a bad member? I remember saving you a few times here and there! I was your ace pilot! I was fine with your stupid mercenary team until YOU started freaking out at ME."

"How could I not? I can't trust you! You're a gang member, that alone should have tipped me off that you were always a freak!"

Katt's head went from one party to the other as the argument flew, like she was watching a tennis game. This was exactly what she wanted, a fight. She lived for drama like this.

"Me, a freak? Okay, so I may have done some questionable things in the past, but am I really a bad person? I'm sure you have plenty to hide yourself, Fox!"

"I'm not "Foxy" anymore to you? I always was bothered by that name. It sounded too awkward. It makes perfect sense now."

"Ugh, like I would even think of you like that." spat Falco. "That name was for fun. I tease you all the time. You should know that."

"I know, but it all fits, Falco. It's been shown. It's written."

"If it was so absolute then why am I not in a romantic relationship with you right now, huh? Think we're just gonna one day kiss and make up? Think it'll happen then?!"

Fox was quiet. A point has been made.

"Yeah, shut you up, didn't I?" taunted Falco. "Think I'm that into you now? And I seem to recall us being pretty mutual there. Unless you had feelings for me as well, I doubt we'll EVER get to that point."

As if on cue, Katt's third guest had arrived. Krystal knocked and opened the door, only to see Fox and Falco fighting. She quickly shot a glance at Katt and shut the door again, only to have Katt dart forward and pull her in again.

"Well look who's here." said Falco over Katt's whispering. Krystal glared displeased with this unexpected company.

"What are you guys doing here?" asked Krystal calmly. However, no amount of calmness could mask the harshness behind it.

"I came to do business with Katt." said Fox emotionless. "Why you two nutjobs are here, I have no idea."

"I think I have an idea why you two are REALLY here for." hissed Krystal. "I don't forget things."

"Are you talking about that comic?" asked Falco, tilting his head. "Because I don't think it's going to be coming true anytime soon. What about you? The dirt we have on you seems more believable, now doesn't it, popsicles?"

Krystal growled. "You guys aren't even worth the time it will take to explain. But keep in mind that I have noticed little hints here and there on your feelings for each other. Like Falco's nickname for you, Fox."

Fox sighed. Falco smirked. "Funny you should bring that up. We were just discussing it."

"I'm sure you were." said Krystal, rolling her eyes.

"And I'm sure you were off doing your thing at your 'cafe' weren't you?" replied Falco. "I saw you there. Panther was all over you. I'm sure many people would be."


	27. Post 27

"What are you saying?" spat Krystal, offended. "If you're implying what I think you are, then you are wrong. All I do is work at a cafe and go home. I wake up the next morning and do it all over again."

"Doing what? Guys?" sneered Fox in disgust. Krystal frowned.

"Like you would be one to talk about anything, Fox. I saw several photographs of you and Wolf in some pretty intimate situations. Does this explain your mysterious rivalry with him? Did you break his poor, achy heart and leave for Falco?"

Katt burst out laughing. Everyone glared at her, shutting her up.

"I didn't leave Wolf for anything. I was never together with him. He's kind of, you know, a guy."

Falco then chimed in. "And let's not forget all the photos I've seen of you and lot's of other people of both genders, and many more of just you being very open with yourself to whatever is looking at you."

"How would I have time for all that when I was with you guys?!" shouted Krystal, sick of all this discussion on her and porn. "I've never done any of that, I couldn't even if I wanted to!"

"You had many years before meeting us to do it. And let's be honest, the outfit I found you in was pre-tty revealing." said Fox, hand to his chin.

Krystal let out frustrated growl, and then a deep breath. "This is hopeless. I never want to see you guys again. Ever."

"I never had many intentions on seeing you again either." said Fox. "I hate liars and cheats very, very much."

"Harsh." said Katt in a most amused voice. Falco's eyes suddenly lit up.

"Hey Katt, I just remembered something. Answer me honestly, did you and Krystal ever have a little "fun" with each other? Anytime at all?"

Katt stopped her breath, looked at Krystal, and back. "Uh, can't say I swing that way. Sorry."

"This is ridiculous!" shouted Krystal dual-facepalming. "I have standards, you know! I wouldn't come here to have sex with Katt, ever! It seems like according to that stupid internet I have sexual relations with anything that MOVES!"

"The photographs and pictures speak for themselves, Krystal." said Falco.

"Then what about the ones of Fox? I've seen plenty of him with other people, I've seen plenty of him and I! With how he's acting I don't think I'll ever trust him again, and thus not get in bed with him, so how is all this true? It's all contradictory! I've been avoiding talking to you two jerks ever since we broke up, and-"

"Liar!" said Fox, pointing an accusing finger. "I've talked to you plenty on the internet! Even viewed your myspace profile, which you pretty much ADMITTED to being such a filthy person in!"

"I don't have a myspace!" screamed Krystal, patiance pushed to the limits.

"Yeah you do!" said Falco. "I've seen it!"

"You guys must really love myspace then, because I've seen lots of profiles for you guys there. I saw some for me too and thought you guys made them up out of spite! It's not a farfetched idea, you guys are jerks enough to do it!"

"I have better things to do than remind myself of you!" shouted Fox. "Especially after you acted all ignorant there. You knew what was up, and you tried talking anyway. Everytime I said that you should leave me alone you just kept saying 'you're no fun' spelled in a terrible way."

"Funny, I've never contacted you." said Krystal. "Let's hear more of your lies. I'm waiting."

For Katt, this was awesome. As long as no fistfights broke out, this was good entertainment. She wondered why Fox and Falco seemed to be ganging up on Krystal, however, and seemed to stop hating each other so badly...


	28. Post 28

"I'm not lying." said Fox in a very smart-ass voice. "And I'm sure you'd know that. You're the one changing the story here, and I can prove it!"

"Then do it. I want to see." answered Krystal, almost excited to see this so-called "proof."

"Give me a computer, I'll get the chat log." Fox said, glancing at Katt's some distance away.

"Aw, shut up already." said Falco, who had spent the last few moments watching. "We're not doing all this, let's just all forget we saw eachother and go back to our lives. I'm sick of this drama again."

"Fine, but first I want Fox to admit he's wrong, so he can realize it's his fault his stupid team fell apart." spat Krystal, prompting Fox to scowl.

"No, it's your guys' fault for lying and keeping secrets when I thought I could trust you guys with anything."

"Oh, come on..." moaned Falco, gripping his head.

"I don't know about Falco, but my 'secrets' aren't true." Krystal said, now sounding monotonous.

"Mine aren't either." said Falco. "Seriously, I'm as straight as a board."

Katt saw necessary to break in. "What about you, Fox? Apparently you also have much to hide about your relationship with Wolf and the like."

"Not true." mumbled Fox. "But still, they-"

"I think I see a pattern here." Falco stated bluntly.

Silence. Katt just sat and watched, having an idea what was coming. Disappointing as it was, it made her glad.

"...Fox?" asked Krystal softly.

"Yeah?"

"Do you really think that the internet knows all? With what it says about all of us?"

Falco put his hands behind his head. "It never did make any sense. Fox with me, Fox with Wolf, Everyone seemed to be into everyone."

"And the stories." added Fox. "I've seen too many that end in death. We can only die once, right? How does that work?"

"But how does it know everything we did, too?" questioned Krystal.

"Well... There's gotta be someone who archived our greater achievments." said Falco, hand to his chin. "Maybe someone told the guys who made the internet. Or maybe they saw themselves."

"And the rest of the stuff that all of us swear we didn't do?" said Fox, remembering that the internet was supposed to be an archive of all things to know.

"I wouldn't trust it." Falco replied. This was usually a blasphemy to say against the internet. "Let's face it, most of the humans on the otherside don't seem very smart. They could just be guessing."

"Or dreaming." Krystal corrected, recalling the oceans of fanboys who lusted over her she had in the neighboring galaxy.

"So you're telling me," Katt butt in "that all of that stuff showing Fox with Falco, Wolf, or even Krystal is all just these people dreaming to see that?" No response, but one was not needed. "And that started all this hate between you guys?" Only nods met her words. "Sad."

"I'm sorry, Fox." Krystal said timidly.

"Me too." said Falco. "Sorry for thinking you wanted some of my rather hot body, and sorry for calling you Popsicles, Pop- Krystal."

Krystal frowned as Fox began to reply. "Yeah, sorry for taking some goofball's word on you guys so quickly and running you out like that."

"Does this mean I'm not going to be on the team?" asked Katt.

"I guess not." said Fox. "Unless one of these guys want to stay gone."


	29. Post 29 (Final)

"I'm coming back!" shouted Falco. Fox and Krystal both looked at him. "I-I'm broke!" was his reaction, trying to save himself.

"I'm coming back too." said Krystal. "I'll quit my job immediately. Thanks, Fox."

"And thanks, Katt." Fox added for her. "Well, good to have you guys back. And I'm sorry for everything I did since our breakup."

"Me too." said Krystal.

"How about some food, then?" asked Falco to close the conversation up. "It's on me."

"I thought you were broke." remarked Katt in her ever flirtatious voice. Falco ignored her.

"Think the others will care that we're coming back?" asked Krystal. Fox shook his head.

"Nah, they'll understand. The internet is flawed and wrong. Who's that going to surprise?"

"And then there's the whole galaxy believing that stuff. What do we do about them?" questioned Falco.

"We ignore 'em." replied Fox. "The rumors have gotta die off soon, right? Our reunion will be all over the news anyway, we can just add the word that the internet isn't the truth it's said to be there."

Falco nodded in agreement. The false info spread galaxy-wide couldn't be there to stay, especially with how only the Star Fox team was really mentioned in the first place. It could easily have been an attempt to dirty their names, and quite frankly, it did.

The trio of space pilots left Katt's place with their farewells, and headed out for a dinner to celebrate their reunion. The details would be explained to Slippy and Peppy when they got back to the Great Fox (often referred to as "home") and all was to be well. For the most part, anyway.

~~~

3 months later...

Things were going well for the team. It was like older times, except that now the occasional employer questioned them on the filth shown on the ol' net. Overall the rumors were dying down, and more and more people realized that the internet was created by a very clueless civilization, and that Lylat was rarely if ever mentioned at all save for Star Fox. That didn't stop the addiction many people had to it, however, though even that was getting better. And while Lylat knew the people they were talking to resided in another galaxy, the opposite was completely oblivious to Lylat. In the end, things turned out okay, even though trouble could be started at a moment's notice. But that was the government's problem, not Star Fox's. War was unlikely to break out because of it.

And life continued as it should have. The adult images Star Fox found of themselves continued being annoying as were the questions and comments they received concerning them, but they were ignorable. Everything else was simply convenient, with messagers and all. The computer aboard the Great Fox became what it should have been; a tool rather than a necessity. Entertainment mostly went back to just being lazy in the lounge, and that's how it always should have been.


End file.
